Wanna be my Valentin?
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Then you better learn how to spell ... and how to use whom while practicing good grammar.
Grammarly found that American adults prefer grammar over confidence when it comes to a potential date.
What? Who wants to date someone who can't spell hart (as in Valentine) correctly? Maybe he or she just typed in the wrong word, unless of course, you are a doe looking for love.
Who makes the most mistakes in their online profile - women. Who uses more words - men.
So why do you think that good grammar is more likely to help you win the heart of your future love?
It all boils down to one thing. Intelligence. In the modern era – that is, the texting era – shorthand in communication is becoming more common, and while it will help you get a quick message across in 140 characters or less, it won’t help you write a formal dissertation. A well-written response or question could help a person come across as quite intelligent. It shows that they put some thought into what they say (or type, rather).
ReplyDeleteThe picture above claims that men are more wordy in their dating profiles than women are, and it goes on to say that this is probably because women can “afford to be riskier” with their decisions due to the fact that they receive so many more matches online. Men have to be on their absolute A-game to ensure that they get the clicks they want on their profile, which can easily be achieved if they showcase their intelligence using a series of beautifully written passages or responses.
While social media has forever changed the way in which we humans will communicate and interact with one another, I believe the grand scheme of it all has still stayed the same. And I think this value of grammar in online dating is a perfect example of just that. Just as romance was before social media, how one presents them self is monumental to romantic success. One has to both dress and act the part in order to show that you genuinely cared. But now that so much of dating is starting online, one must find other ways to project a sense of intelligence and authenticity. This is where grammar comes in. While it may seem insignificant, given how easy it is to check, something like correct grammar shows that you at least put in some degree of effort, and that you carry yourself with some dignity. And if bad grammar really is so easy to correct, what does is say about those too lazy to fix it? In short, correct grammar creates a sense that the person is intelligent, dignified, and is willing to put effort into their work: All positive qualities people look for in a potential romantic partner.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing sexier than intelligence. As people get older, finding a significant other becomes more of a search for intellectual attraction rather than just physical attraction. Don't get me wrong, physical attraction does play a large role in your overall chemistry to someone but it's their intellect and personality that keeps you coming back for more; it's an attraction to their intellect that will make you want to further get to know them. Unless you're okay with just sitting face-to-face with someone the entire duration of the date and staring at them, then you definitely need to find someone that you can have a stimulating conversation with.
ReplyDeleteAs the collage of pictures above depict, a good majority of those on dating sits such as OKCupid, Plenty Of Fish, Christian Mingle, and Farmers are adults. There's a difference between these sites and sites such as Tindr and Grindr. On a site meant for casual hookups, shorthand and bad grammar can be looked past so long as you're attractive. On the other hand, compliments presented as, "Ur cute" and messages shortened to, "Wyd 2nite" on sites such as OKCupid, where people go to find potential life partners, will not suffice. At the end of the day, being "cool" can only get you so far and when you have someone trying not fall victim to their biological/ societal clock by resorting to meeting people online, someone who is cool and hip don't seem promising.
Well, good grammar shows that a person is very well educated and articulated. The problem with making a grammar error shows that this person is not very detail orientated or maybe too desperate as they could have typed too fast to even care. Being able to show a wide use of grammar can show what type of person that guy or girl you are talking to. There is a very clear difference between typing something like "I'll c u there" than "I'll see you there".
ReplyDeleteWell when you begin looking for a valentines date you are looking for someone you can have fun with but also someone who you can have a great and long educational conversation with. You don’t want someone who uses bad grammar or someone who doesn’t know how to spell correctly. Many people these days use short hand texting when creating a profile and most people don’t enjoy reading that your potential match for a Valentines date only texts or uses short hand texting. Only because you don’t know whether or not if that is the way that they communicate in person. And most people want to have an educational professional conversation with someone that can last a long time and that you never get tired of. There are a lot of factors that are put into blame, for example texting and social media using social media is a way for people to use short hand “slang” texting. But if we were back in the ages where they didn’t have social media or texting and all you had to do when wanting to talk to someone who was far away was write a profound educational letter. I feel like everyone should have good grammar and know when to use and know when to use their short hand “slang” text. Good grammar is not only important in finding your true love or next girlfriend/boyfriend it’s also important in finding the right job and getting the important things out of life. Present yourself with high expectations and good grammar and you will go high in this world.
ReplyDeleteI think that good grammar is more likely to help me win the heart of my future love, since I am pretty sure she would be interested in an intelligent person, and people care about intelligence more than looks, since a girl with no intelligence can be very dangerous to spend time with whether or not she looks beautiful. Also, proper grammar will help my future love understand my love message, since sometimes if I use bad grammar and it shows up as a love message that can be offensive, then my chances with my future love will be ruined. That is why you must think before you write, and you must proofread what you write before actually sending it for somebody else to see it in order to avoid disasters of any kind. Do double check and think twice or maybe even three times before you send the letter to anybody.
ReplyDeleteGood grammar is the foundation of any good relationship. Although I am still in my teen years and often use slang communication as well, I cannot stand someone who uses terms and abbreviations that I am not familiar with. Having to ask what a person is trying to say is so frustrating that eventually if the person does not start making sense the first time I just don't even bother with that person anymore and I'm sure most people can relate. Now imagine these annoyances sliding over to communication within a romantic relationship. Communication should be the strongest point in a relationship to maintain a strong and solid bond. It's pretty safe to say that having the habit of practicing proper grammar will aid your relationship communication skills and essentially lead to a happier life, or in this case, help you get a valentine.
ReplyDeleteGood grammar can hugely affect first impressions and what the other person thinks of you in general. One thought the other person could have is that if they make grammatical errors without knowing, then maybe their intelligence level is low. Conversing with someone like that could be annoying rather than fun. It can also show immaturity if someone uses text abbreviations or misspellings. Also if it's only small grammatical misspellings then the other person might think that you just don't care enough to check it, showing that you wont put in the commitment.
ReplyDeleteIntelligence is attractive and impressive. It's hard to take someone seriously who cannot even put a proper sentence together. Most people enjoy deep conversations. Someone who speaks well, writes well, and brings up interesting topics to talk about seems to make that person more enjoyable to be around, and people usually like to be around their lover.
ReplyDeleteAnd when it comes to love letters, you generally want to sound charismatic, witty, poetic, and articulate. If you write in shorthand or put in too many typos, your love letter will lose its romantic value. It's easier to forgive a text message being written in what people call "text talk" because those types of messages allow only 150 characters or less, but when it comes to blogging, emails, or letters, intelligence means a lot. Constantly writing in shorthand may come off as uninterested or otherwise clueless of important details.
There's also the factor of a good first impression not just in love, but in life in general -- jobs, friends, and other vital things to be be successful.
Long story short; think before you say anything. Saying the wrong thing makes you look dumb. Thinking is vital to any relationship.
The only way to know a person deeply that one has never met is to study how he or she talk or text. If a person is texting politly with good grammar and spelling, he or she is more likely educated and being polite in real life. People would like to date with people like this. That is why women care more about men's spelling, because spelling error in a man's introduction will provide an impression of careless and graceless, which will cause a drop of chance of responses. Spelling errors do not affect women too much because not all men will expect their dating target to be perfectly polite, careful and formal. Some men may think women with grammar error in their introducion are more familiar and easier to get in touch with. Different needs cause a different manner of dealing with grammar and spelling errors.
ReplyDeleteIn short, the reason that people care a lot about grammar is people are carefully examine their potential dating target through those short pieces of words.
I found this article to be pretty interesting and definitely accurate in how I see things. I have used dating apps before and how people spell and write is pretty much the only basis you have for judging character. The photos can only tell you so much, usually aesthetics and activities but if there is nothing going on in their mind, it is an overall turn off. Spelling and using the write form of words is crucial for me as well, and is a semi pet peeve. For example, using the usage of 'your' and 'you're' and 'their' 'they're' and 'there' will also bug me. In general, as people communicate less and less in person it will become crucial to have writing skills that can make you appear as intelligent. Now, instead of having a first impression in person it is now much more likely to have your first impression be via text, instant messaging or email.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read that Grammarly found that adults tend to prefer grammar over confidence in potential dates, I have to say that I satisfy that finding myself. The concept probably sounds pretentious to a lot of people, but the way I see it, having a proper grasp of the English language demonstrates intelligence and that is what's attractive to many people. Confidence is also attractive, but I don't think that confidence is what keeps people together long-term. Rather, it's what makes people gravitate toward each other. With this in mind then, it makes sense that grammar plays such a pivotal role in a relationship. Having good grammar means you're able to communicate properly and thus raises your chances of being able to alleviate problems with your partner more efficiently because you can get messages across clearly. This is especially important in today's world, being that we are so overrun with technology. There's countless apps and messaging systems we're able to use to talk to potential dates/partners, but those apps are rendered useless if we can't perform the basic function of speaking properly. All in all, I think the concept is simple: you win the heart with words. It just so happens that the more grammatically-correct those words are, the easier winning the heart will be.
ReplyDeleteIt was very interesting to see the different statistics involving internet dating. Some things weren't surprising, such as women getting more matches and men having to create a much better impression. When people set up their profiles, it involves pictures and a bio typically. While pictures might catch attention, the hook comes from whatever is written in the bio. In the modern dating scene, being able to speak intelligently goes a long way. While confidence can be entertaining, eloquence can be a real deal breaker. This stands especially true if communication is limited to text messages or other forms of internet outlets. Personally, I can't stand to talk to someone that I have trouble understanding. From a dating perspective, confidence may get you through the door, but grammatically correct speech is what outlasts the charm of confidence. People want to date people they can talk to. After all, communication is key to a successful relationship.
ReplyDeleteI found it shocking knowing that women are more likely to have more grammar errors then men when men use more words. Not being stereotypical but women are better writers than men, although men are more flirtatious over text and social media. Grammar is more likely to help win the heart of your future love because it makes the person look intelligent. I mean if a person can’t spell properly or has many grammar errors it makes them seem unintelligent. People are attracted to individuals who are smart, look attractive and someone who has a good personality. But if you can speak properly it’s hard to understand you and makes it hard to socialize. I know for a fact everyone looks at what they typed before they send a text because they don’t want to look stupid but it’s ironic how women are found to make more grammar mistakes when men are more careless with the things they say.
ReplyDeleteI personally believe that good grammar is a good asset in which a person should carry. Who wants to date someone with bad simple grammar? I definitely don’t. The person not only sounds dumb but not educated. Other than that, I honestly thought that women would use more words and men the most mistakes. Just because I know that personally, being a women, I talk a lot.
ReplyDeleteGood grammar shows intelligence. At the same time, I think good grammar shows the respect and care. When I text or send emails to my superiors or my boyfriend, I will check the text body over and over before sending. I want to make as favorable an impression as possible. Good grammar is one of the testimony that he/ she care about you. If one doesn't spend just a few seconds to check the text body to give you a good impression, why do you think he/ she really loves you?
ReplyDeleteThis article was actually incredibly accurate to myself. It wasn't just the facts about spelling and grammar itself but as well as the points regarding message lengths. When I am usually talking to someone through some sort of messaging format, I have a habit of writing between 5 to 8 lines of text in contrast to the other person's 2 to 4. This contrast in message length makes me take longer to reply or reconsider replying at all. It isn't due to the person but rather by not getting a reply of equal length it seems that the other person is not as interested as myself. Speaking on grammar I too believe bad grammar is off putting. Personally I think that is attributed to our age. Back in Middle and High School, I cared less about grammar because I honestly looked at women in a different light. However, being in a new environment surrounded by other educated individuals I hold someone's intelligence higher up than I previously did. Pretty ironic if you think about it, since I am sure there are grammar errors in this very response.
ReplyDeleteIf I was on a dating website and saw that a man had grammar errors I would not mind unless there was way too many to count. Grammar to me shows intelligence and someone who could not comprehend basic grammar would make it hard to hold a conversation with if I had to correct him every time he spoke. Although grammar is not a big deal, if his personality is great and I can vibe with him then something can work out. I would rank a man's confidence as more important than his grammar. I find it interesting that people tend to think the opposite. I also find it interesting through this article that men tend to make less mistakes when it came to grammar mistakes. I thought it was the opposite and females made less mistakes.
ReplyDeleteI think this is true! Good grammar really shows that a person actually puts in the effort to send a message. Being intelligent is way more attractive than being the opposite. Confidence is a big key to success but having good grammar really shows what you are doing. I kind of hate how women receives more messages than men because it has always been like this. I wonder what it fills like to receive a ton of messages.
ReplyDeleteI found this to be very interestingly cool. Having Good grammar is very important because it shows that you put effort in to a conversation. I can totally relate because I like to check my writing before I hit send. I never really considered that grammar can actually effect a relationship between two individuals. Such a small thing can make such a big difference.
ReplyDeleteFrom the various things that can be seen as attractive, grammar does play a big role in catching attention. It is crazy because a lot comes to play,when someone does not spell a word correctly, and instead as a form of short and easy type, it seems as if they do not care. Using your words correctly can be effective because if you compare someone who speaks in a right and thoughtful manner to someone who is not thoughtful.
ReplyDeleteI do not think that grammar alone is a deciding factor on whether or not someone is or is not attractive, but when their grammar is strong, it is definitely an added bonus. Anyone is capable of making a grammar mistake when texting or typing or even stuttering during a conversation. Most of the time you notice the mistake, but not everyone makes the effort to try and fix it. However when someone does make the effort to fix it, it shows their commitment to the person they're talking to, and that they actually care enough about the conversation not to leave careless mistakes Flawless grammar is just one of the many subtle attributes that can make someone seem attractive.
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ReplyDeleteGood grammar can help you find a future partner because it shows that you're intelligent and intelligent is sexy. intelligence also shows you maybe going somewhere in life and I don't think that any respectable adult would misspell or use slang in something they were actually taking seriously. So it shows that you are respectable and also that you want people to know that you care, you aren't trying to type fast like talking to a friend you are taking your time in your writing and that shows that you care which may help you find your future lover.
ReplyDeleteI believe that having “good grammar” is going to help to get the heart of my future wife. Because I am completely sure that she is going to be interested in an intelligent person for her life. This skill is very beneficial for having a first impression with the love of your life, you have to dominate this quality of “good grammar” in order for you to succeed not just in love but also in life. Good grammar can speak about you as a person who really cares on what are you writing about, and your future wife/husband can noticed that you are a person who is putting commitment in the relationship. – Miguel Vasquez
ReplyDeleteI don't really think good grammar would help me win the heart of my future love. It would show that I probably write good but that is unlikely because I usually have a difficult time writing essays. But it would matter what situation it is. For example, if it is texting and they use the letter "r" for "are" that would bother me.
ReplyDeleteFor me it would depend on how bad the grammar is like if there is common mistakes like your and you're not even real world adults don't get that one right still but if they don't bother to write the whole word then I would be bothered by it and probably won't take them seriously
ReplyDeleteFor me it would depend on how bad the grammar is like if there is common mistakes like your and you're not even real world adults don't get that one right still but if they don't bother to write the whole word then I would be bothered by it and probably won't take them seriously
ReplyDeletePersonally I find someone who is intelligent to be slightly more attractive compared to someone who can not even distinguish the difference between their, there and they're. It shows to me that they are educated and that they have a motive and goal that they are striving for and if I can be able to assist them then that will make it all the better. It shows that someone is respectable and knowledgeable to be able to contributed to our society.
ReplyDeleteA girl I dated a few years back complimented me, explicitly, about my grammar and spelling. I had never thought of it being a point of attraction, but it made sense to me why she appreciated it and how I have always unconsciously judged anyone who can't engage me with their words.
ReplyDeleteI find intelligence attractive. If my friends ask me, "are you attracted to her?". I will not answer that question if I have not had a conversation with her. I have had many interactions where I was visually attracted to a person and then after a brief interaction, I decided that we were not well matched and it was due to language abilities.
Of course, we all make the occasional mistake of there, their and they're, but it becomes very obvious when a person doesn't know how to use them appropriately. This is one example of a language deal breaker for me. My tendency to the pedantic analysis of casual conversation boils down to two things: laziness and feeling understood. The more clearly and concisely a person expresses themselves, the less my brain has to work to decode what they mean to say.
Being understood accurately is very important to me. If a person doesn't have adroit language skills, they don't have nearly as many tools in their arsenal to illustrate to me that they see me, as I am. If they can't do that, I will feel less connected to them and after all, I think that's what most of us are searching for in our relationships. Authentic connection. Language just happens to be one of the most intimate ways I find authentic connection with others.
Grammar is a big thing I look out for in my relationship. I get super irritated if my boyfriend does not say the right word for that very moment. He gets angry every time I correct him, but then again not everyone is perfect. He makes alot of grammar mistakes , saying "I forget" whenever I ask him a question. I always yell , "IT'S I FORGOT,NOT I FORGET." I mean , it will irk me if someone does say something wrong, but who would completely cut off a person just for them saying a word in the wrong way. It could perhaps be due to them learning to say that specific thing in that way.
ReplyDeleteHaving good grammar is very important because it shows how much effort one puts into a conversation.To begin with, many people communicate in different ways, whether its through a simply conversation or text messaging. For example, when people are having a conversation through text messaging, and the other person responds with "How r u?" or "K", it's shows the lack of effort and enthusiasm. Many people can be attracted at first sight, but once they start having conversations through text messaging or in person it could change their perspective. Grammar is also very important because it can make the person more attractive by showing that they are educated, and strive to have intellectual conversations with people. Good grammar can say a lot about a person, so start picking up those books and read about ways to improve it.
ReplyDeleteTo me, grammar is very important even through text. I understand, you may be in a hurry and have to reply with a quick text and there may be a misspelled word. But for that to happen in 90% of the text messages you send? No. One thing I can't stand about texting is when the other person replies but I can't understand them because their grammar is way off. Although most of the time I know what they're trying to say, I hate having to ask what they said or meant or what does that mean. It puts a hold on conversations and just makes me want to stop texting back. Good grammar is good communication! And good communication is essential in any relationship. It will help you get very far in life and in this case, it will help you find a valentine.
ReplyDeleteHaving good grammar is very important because it demonstrates intelligence. Although personally, I would not use that as a factor of finding my future love. I correct my boyfriend all the time whenever he spells a word wrong or uses the wrong form of "to/too" and "affect/effect". It personally drives me nuts when he does not use the correct form or spells words wrong,but eventually he actually learns from it because I continue to correct him until he gets it right one day. It is understandable that people use abbreviations to shorten their words but when it comes to them actually spelling out the words, I will make sure to correct them. Not just for my benefit but for theirs also because it would be embarrassing if they kept spelling a word the wrong way.
ReplyDeleteTo me, having good grammar is important because it can show someone's intelligence and it also drives me crazy when people can't differentiate the words "your/you're", "there, theirs, they're", and "where, we're, were". To me it is so easy to tell the difference between them but again some people are not like me, they can often have trouble memorizing things or remembering things. My boyfriend is one of those people, he forgets everything I tell him or if I ask him to remind me about something he forgets about it which means I sometimes forget as well. Anyways moving on, I would not use this as a way to find my love in the future, I personally look for somebody who treats me with respect and loves me very dearly. If he has bad grammar I will make sure to teach him right from wrong and make sure that his grammar is up to date. My future lover not having the best grammar is the least of my worries because these days it is very hard to find someone true and genuine who loves you for who you are. So I wouldn't define this as a factor to find my future love, I would instead do everything in my power to ensure that his grammar improves through out time.
ReplyDeleteone of my biggest pet peeves is when people can't spell. I feel like i can't have a conversation with someone who can't spell or isn't grammatically correct because I get irritated. If you think about it, we have auto correct and other apps that check grammar and some people don't use it and its frustrating. I had an ex who I broke up with because aside from the fact that all he talked about was football, he couldn't be grammatically correct to save his life. Its understandable if you misspell something or you type something that doesn't make sense once in a while but if you keep doing it as an adult then you really need some help. I think one of the biggest reasons that being grammatically correct is so important now a days is because people want to be with someone who can at least make it seem like they have some type of english education.
ReplyDeleteHaving grammar is very important and can show your intelligence to a person. Misspelling can really bother a person to the point where they aren't even paying attention to the conversation but trying to correct you with your grammar or waiting for you to misspell again. This could also be bad for yourself because if someone points out your misspelling, you would be embarrassed and that doesn't set a good vibe for the rest of the conversation. Now, you would be all worried about spelling everything right and not so much about the conversation and the person you are talking to. I think spelling says a lot about a person and their personality. For most people misspelling can be a turn off and won't want to continue getting to know you. Personally it bothers me when something is misspelling words or does't have proper grammar and I tend to point it out and also correct them. If you are unsure about spelling, it's easy to look up or even have auto correct. For a lot of people misspelling is a pet peeve and will lose interest right away. Having good grammar and spelling gives brownie points to you with who you are as a person and your education.
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